Monday, March 30, 2009

just rambling

Today I ate a whole egg scrambled… I measured it before hand and it is 4oz… that’s the most I’ve eaten since the op…. that means the swelling is going down VERY good sign!!!! That’s enough about the surgery today… same old stuff.
Next week is spring break, and I will be home with Corbyn all day every day!!! I’m hoping we will have fun... and if its nice enouph maybe we can go to the park… I know I won’t be able to really play around with him but I can find a bench to sit and he can play… maybe I will get a hold of one of my cousins to go with me… then we can visit while the kids play!!!! Don’t know, but what I do know is I will definitely be ready to get out of the house, even if it’s just for an hour or two… I might not feel good, but I’m not a home body… I need people!!!!
O.k., I don’t really have anything else to say today so I’m going to get off here and find something else to do…

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I'm going Home

Today I’m going home, I started on pureed food yesterday (not nearly as bad as I expected) had my first BM (bowel Movement) at 5:30 this morning… which is a big deal, they want that to happen before I leave… sort of to make sure everything is plumbed correctly… I feel good today… this has all been much easier than I expected… the power of Prayer!!!!
Speaking of prayer… Today is Sunday, church tonight is not promising… but I haven’t marked it out yet... the problem is that where one of the incisions is where my pants rest… So I don’t know if I will be able to… I will probably try on my church clothes when I get home and see if it’s a possibility... I know “you need to stay home and get rest” but I have rested for 3 days straight... and even if I’m just there sitting, I can sit at church the same as sit at home…
O.k., I just saw the Doctor walk by so I’m going to get off here… I’m so pumped about leaving!!!!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Day 2 and feeling better

Its Saturday…. Two days post op… there are scales out in the hall that I see every time I walk (which has been quite a bit) and I want to get on them so bad!!!! Even though I know I haven’t lost weight yet… and I keep telling I... don’t be a slave to the scales!!!! I feel pretty good today though, granted its only twenty till seven… but I’ve walked, I’ve drank, I’ve gone pee... and today I will start pureed food… which on one hand… I can tell I haven’t had any food in a while… but on the other hand… I dread eating real food….I’ve heard to many horror stories… so it will be small bites with lots of time in between them… as far as second thoughts… no, even when I was the most uncomfortable… I prayed a lot about this decision… and I feel I am in the will of God… Even the day of surgery they approached me and informed me that my sugar had been 320 at my pre-op visit and if it were over 250 they couldn’t do surgery… I thought for sure I was going home when they went to test it, because it’s always HI, 250 is like a low norm… anyway I just prayed when he left that if It was God’s will the blood sugar come back below 250… it was 95… I haven’t seen 95 since I found out I was diabetic… it’s amazing how God works when that happened I was definitely at ease… I knew It would all be o.k.… and so far in the hospital they keep telling me I’m doing great… and while I’m sore, I’m a little tired, I’m scared of food right now… I am happy, I thank God for another chance at life… it’s so humbling to me, I took what God gave me and abused it… and here he gives me a second chance… how can people not adore a God like that.

Friday, March 27, 2009

first day of the rest of my life

Hey, I'm alive!!! a little sore (o.k. a lot sore) but feeling pretty good, haven't eaten yet so don't know how thats going to go... will get to start drinking soon... as far as my stats.. here goes ( I really hate this) back in November when I had my first consultation I weighed 395 pounds... see why surgery was necessary!!!!! now yesterday morning after stopping pop in January and thne the ten day 1000 calorie diet, and then the one day all liquid I weighed 357... so my surgery weight was 357... This is a picture in time... and will be changing... but now you know... and I will be able to look back and remember... well Im going to get off of here... probably write tomorrow.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Today is the big day

Today is the day… I am currently in the car on the way to Chicago to get the surgery done (My wife is Driving). How do I feel right now??? Anxious… curious about how I’m going to feel at the end of the day… wondering if I’ll ever have Pizza again… I know sounds crazy food is what got me into this mess… and its not like I’m wanting a piece of Pizza right now.. I’m just wondering if I will ever have a piece again!!! I’m also content… I know that no matter what happens today I am right with God… so if God doesn’t see fit to keep me through this I will just be home with him… Don’t freak out I’m not sitting here thinking that I’m dying… as I’ve said before Iam confident in the surgeon I’m going too.. they have a certificate of excellency and they haven’t lost a patient in 7 years… all is well. I have to say though, my mind is really racing right now, I have SO much running through my mind… for instance apparently post op I will feel like I was kicked in the gut by a mule… now mind you I’ve never been kicked in the gut by a mule but I don’t imagine it is a pleasant feeling!!!! Maybe I can let you know what it feels like tomorrow!!!!! O.k. for now I’m going to get off here, and I will post this as soon as I get to the hospital…. And then off to surgery for me! About my stats… I will try to post them tomorrow, maybe it will be easier when I’m on medication.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tomorrow is the big day

Tomorrow…. A little over twenty-four hours from now I will be in surgery, and my life will never be the same. It is such an odd feeling, knowing that my body will be altered after today and it will never be the same. I have to admit there is a certain part of me that asks me how I ever let it get to this point; I used to be so particular about what I ate…. Probably to a fault. But then something changed, what was it? I really don’t know. Anyway, I will be getting my bags ready today. Hopefully I will come home on Saturday… and then on the road to recovery.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Two days till Surgery

TWO DAYS!!!! You would be amazed at how many times in the last couple days I have been asked if I was nervous about this operation. The answer is no. Its not because I don’t realize how big of a thing it is, its because I did my homework and know what to expect (as far as the actual procedure goes) I’m not going to go to a local clinic to have it done I’m going to a place that specializes in it, and has a certificate of Excellency, and comes with a good report from others who have been there. All of that being said there is a little anxiety of the 2-3 weeks right after surgery. The thought of the whole pureed food thing is all a little weird to me still, but this to shall pass. I’m sure right before the surgery I might have a little bit of a “this is big” moment, and I’m sure right after I will probably have a “this is REALLY final” moment. I expect those moments. The thing is I am ready for it to be final. Like I’ve said before, I would rather only be able to eat small portions the rest of my life than die before I’m 40. O.k. enough surgery talk.

I didn’t get a chance to say anything yesterday (been really busy trying to wrap things up before the op.) but Sunday nights church service was AWSOME!!!! Even now just thinking about it gets me excited!!! There is nothing like when God moves, and when his people come together in unity seeking his face, it was so great… and in the middle of it all I looked down beside me and my son was standing there with his hands raised and tears streaming down his face… It is truly a moment that takes your breath… My wife and I are very careful to talk to Corbyn about serving God but not try to coax him into things, because I feel like it is better to feel the pull from God than the push from his parents. So to see him Sunday…. Well words can’t describe it… I serve an Awesome God that candor all things and he deserves all honor. He’s the kind of God that can give you peace in the middle of a storm, He’s the kind of God that will see you through when you feel like you aren’t strong enough, and he’s the kind of God that was willing to die for his people… I adore him more than I could ever express.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Stephanie is 4-1/2 months pregnant… halfway. I can’t help but wondering to myself what this baby will be like, will we get along? Boy or Girl? Passive or aggressive? I really don’t know what to expect, but I will love it, and I will prepare a place for it to live with me, And I will have rules that it has to live by, not because I like being the boss but because I know that if I don’t teach it boundaries it won’t know boundaries. When I was growing up I was completely convinced that my Dad really just liked to punish kids and enjoyed the “Power” of being the boss… now that I have my own child I realize all he was doing was trying raise us the best way he knew how… he might have made mistakes, but so did I, and so do I. And ultimately there came a day where I had to choose to either do the things my parents taught me, or make my own set of rules. It’s the same with God, he loves each one of us, and he has given us a path to follow, the question is will we follow in the ways that we are taught, or make our own set of rules? Its sad that so many people have chosen to change God’s teachings to make their own set or rules… the bible says that there is ONE faith…. If everyone is making there own rules they are no longer following his. I have made the mistake once of trying to live by my own set of rules… the thing is, to follow God’s way is better, and it’s actually easier once you stop fighting him… He doesn’t make following him hard, we do.

Monday, March 16, 2009

last pre-op visit now over

Today was a loooong day. But its now over... I wish I had something major to say about it but it really amounts to what I've already said, I will be in the hospital for 2-4 days, I will be on pureed food for about two weeks and then I will be ready to start expiramenting on what i can eat and not.... I am supposed to be walking the day after, and will be free to do "strenuous" activities after 6 weeks... in just ten days i will start the rest of my life!!!!!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

the day before the changes start

Surgery 11 days away!
Pre-op Diet starts tomorrow!
Weird feeling of excited and nervous already here!!!!!!
Don’t have a lot to say today, just that I am getting ready for surgery, there is some stuff I want to get done around the house, before hand, hopefully next weekend I will be able to rap most of it up… still planning on posting pre – op pictures and stats on here (dreading it) will probably wait until day of surgery, then I will know it will start changing and I won’t be so “exposed” for too awful long… once I get it out there hopefully I will not almost have a coronary at the thought of it anymore!!!! Funny, I’m the kind of guy who can let things roll off my shoulders pretty easy, but when it comes to telling my weight, I would rather eat worms!!!!!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Lazy Day

Saturday!!! I think the only set in stone thing we have going on today is we might be going to Ohio for a revival tonight. It feels like we are ALWAYS on the go so the thought of hanging around here is so appealing. Anyway I don’t have a lot to say today… just wanted to express my joy that it is Saturday and not jam packed full and overflowing. I hope everyone has a great weekend and though it might be cold remember, this too shall pass, before long we’ll be wishing it would cool down a little (gotta love Indiana)

Speaking of jam packed full I have a question, has anyone made a successful effort to slow down your life? And if so, please tell me what worked for you!!!!!!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Who I want to be

Another happy day!!!! I can’t believe surgery is 13 days away, Crazy!!!! The other night my pastor was talking about the Church letting to much of the world in… and I’ve been chewing it ever since… I try to take a look at my own life and see if there are things where I’ve let the world sneak in and wedge itself between me and God. I actually find I do this a lot anyway. As someone who fell away from Serving God it’s a fear that I have. I know how hard it is to swallow your pride and admit that his ways are indeed higher than your own and you are in no position to try to tell God how your going to serve him, he laid it out, and his scripture is not open to private interpolation… the bible says there is one lord one faith one baptism, it also says that you can’t serve to masters, because you will end up hating one and loving the other. I don’t want to try to serve two masters, I want to make serving God my priority… My son has started showing an interest in God and I want him to see that God is real in my life, not just something I do on Sunday and Wednesday… I don’t know how many of you listen to “Christian” radio but there is a song out right now called “the motions” by Mathew West…. That’s what I’m talking about!!!!! I want to follow God’s word in all of its truth… I don’t think its enough to just look the part, but you have to be the part… yes I believe in a standard of holiness, but I believe that you also have to have a Christ like heart… I want to have enough God about me to pray for my enemies not against them… I want to have enough God about me to show the same forgiveness to people that God Showed me… to be a Christian is to be Christ like… Jesus Christ was willing to be a lamb led to the slaughter for me… if you think he doesn’t expect the same resolve from us think about the apostles, Stephen for example was willing to die, and when he was dying did he back down and try to make appease everyone? No, he didn’t! He preached the word of God, and tried to reach lost souls… I love that!!!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

prep for surgery

Hmmm, I have so many things going through my mind… where to start!!!! I think I’m just going to focus on a topic a day that way I’m not writing a book but a chapter. So today I’m going to talk about surgery prep since its all starting to begin.
Things I have to do before the operation is:

*Get all my vitamins – which I have done accept I need to get Citra cal with D
*Start my 10 day pre op diet – this is a low cal (800-1000 cal. A day) high protein (60-100 G
a day)
*Get my protein Supplements (done but let me tell you those things are more expensive than I
*Get a comfy robe (a good friend told me to do this for the hospital so I’m not flashing the nurses
as I walk down the hall) also done
*Food Processor – got to get one so I can eat my baby food at first!!!!
*And picture time, I’m probably going to have Stephanie take some pictures of me Sunday (the
day before the diet starts) so I can sort of visually chart it, these pictures will not be posted
until probably the day after my surgery)

I am sure I have forgotten something on here, but I think this is the gist of it… my laptop has a webcam and I am debating on utilizing that…. What do you think? Should I just do Video blogs or still do it this way, or mix them…. I really don’t know what would be best… anyway I will talk more later – Bye.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Its Been a While

o.k. so our Computer crashed so I haven't been able to Blog for a while... but now I am back up an running... so here is what is going on with me... Everything is fine with the baby... when they did the ultrasound it was still to young to make out what it is... but thats o.k. its healthy and thats what matters. I think last time I posted I was still waiting to hear from the insurance... well I am approved for Surgery, I go under the knife on the 26th of this month. I wish I could say I'm not worried at all but that would be lie... what I can say is that I am ready to make a step towards a healthy life... I'm so sick of all that is going wrong with me... I do, however, look forward to being active again, I used to love to ride bikes and I had a blast on trampolines... I really look forward to that, and going on roller coasters again... and sitting on chairs without worrying about if they were built "sturdy" or not... and being able to play hard with corbyn without sounding like Im going into an athsma attack... anyway, I will be posting again.. good to be able to get stuff down again!!!!!