just rambling

Today I ate a whole egg scrambled… I measured it before hand and it is 4oz… that’s the most I’ve eaten since the op…. that means the swelling is going down VERY good sign!!!! That’s enough about the surgery today… same old stuff.
Next week is spring break, and I will be home with Corbyn all day every day!!! I’m hoping we will have fun... and if its nice enouph maybe we can go to the park… I know I won’t be able to really play around with him but I can find a bench to sit and he can play… maybe I will get a hold of one of my cousins to go with me… then we can visit while the kids play!!!! Don’t know, but what I do know is I will definitely be ready to get out of the house, even if it’s just for an hour or two… I might not feel good, but I’m not a home body… I need people!!!!
O.k., I don’t really have anything else to say today so I’m going to get off here and find something else to do…

I'm going Home

Today I’m going home, I started on pureed food yesterday (not nearly as bad as I expected) had my first BM (bowel Movement) at 5:30 this morning… which is a big deal, they want that to happen before I leave… sort of to make sure everything is plumbed correctly… I feel good today… this has all been much easier than I expected… the power of Prayer!!!!
Speaking of prayer… Today is Sunday, church tonight is not promising… but I haven’t marked it out yet... the problem is that where one of the incisions is where my pants rest… So I don’t know if I will be able to… I will probably try on my church clothes when I get home and see if it’s a possibility... I know “you need to stay home and get rest” but I have rested for 3 days straight... and even if I’m just there sitting, I can sit at church the same as sit at home…
O.k., I just saw the Doctor walk by so I’m going to get off here… I’m so pumped about leaving!!!!!

Day 2 and feeling better

Its Saturday…. Two days post op… there are scales out in the hall that I see every time I walk (which has been quite a bit) and I want to get on them so bad!!!! Even though I know I haven’t lost weight yet… and I keep telling I... don’t be a slave to the scales!!!! I feel pretty good today though, granted its only twenty till seven… but I’ve walked, I’ve drank, I’ve gone pee... and today I will start pureed food… which on one hand… I can tell I haven’t had any food in a while… but on the other hand… I dread eating real food….I’ve heard to many horror stories… so it will be small bites with lots of time in between them… as far as second thoughts… no, even when I was the most uncomfortable… I prayed a lot about this decision… and I feel I am in the will of God… Even the day of surgery they approached me and informed me that my sugar had been 320 at my pre-op visit and if it were over 250 they couldn’t do surgery… I thought for sure I was going home when they went to test it, because it’s always HI, 250 is like a low norm… anyway I just prayed when he left that if It was God’s will the blood sugar come back below 250… it was 95… I haven’t seen 95 since I found out I was diabetic… it’s amazing how God works when that happened I was definitely at ease… I knew It would all be o.k.… and so far in the hospital they keep telling me I’m doing great… and while I’m sore, I’m a little tired, I’m scared of food right now… I am happy, I thank God for another chance at life… it’s so humbling to me, I took what God gave me and abused it… and here he gives me a second chance… how can people not adore a God like that.

first day of the rest of my life

Hey, I'm alive!!! a little sore (o.k. a lot sore) but feeling pretty good, haven't eaten yet so don't know how thats going to go... will get to start drinking soon... as far as my stats.. here goes ( I really hate this) back in November when I had my first consultation I weighed 395 pounds... see why surgery was necessary!!!!! now yesterday morning after stopping pop in January and thne the ten day 1000 calorie diet, and then the one day all liquid I weighed 357... so my surgery weight was 357... This is a picture in time... and will be changing... but now you know... and I will be able to look back and remember... well Im going to get off of here... probably write tomorrow.

Today is the big day

Today is the day… I am currently in the car on the way to Chicago to get the surgery done (My wife is Driving). How do I feel right now??? Anxious… curious about how I’m going to feel at the end of the day… wondering if I’ll ever have Pizza again… I know sounds crazy food is what got me into this mess… and its not like I’m wanting a piece of Pizza right now.. I’m just wondering if I will ever have a piece again!!! I’m also content… I know that no matter what happens today I am right with God… so if God doesn’t see fit to keep me through this I will just be home with him… Don’t freak out I’m not sitting here thinking that I’m dying… as I’ve said before Iam confident in the surgeon I’m going too.. they have a certificate of excellency and they haven’t lost a patient in 7 years… all is well. I have to say though, my mind is really racing right now, I have SO much running through my mind… for instance apparently post op I will feel like I was kicked in the gut by a mule… now mind you I’ve never been kicked in the gut by a mule but I don’t imagine it is a pleasant feeling!!!! Maybe I can let you know what it feels like tomorrow!!!!! O.k. for now I’m going to get off here, and I will post this as soon as I get to the hospital…. And then off to surgery for me! About my stats… I will try to post them tomorrow, maybe it will be easier when I’m on medication.

Tomorrow is the big day

Tomorrow…. A little over twenty-four hours from now I will be in surgery, and my life will never be the same. It is such an odd feeling, knowing that my body will be altered after today and it will never be the same. I have to admit there is a certain part of me that asks me how I ever let it get to this point; I used to be so particular about what I ate…. Probably to a fault. But then something changed, what was it? I really don’t know. Anyway, I will be getting my bags ready today. Hopefully I will come home on Saturday… and then on the road to recovery.

Two days till Surgery

TWO DAYS!!!! You would be amazed at how many times in the last couple days I have been asked if I was nervous about this operation. The answer is no. Its not because I don’t realize how big of a thing it is, its because I did my homework and know what to expect (as far as the actual procedure goes) I’m not going to go to a local clinic to have it done I’m going to a place that specializes in it, and has a certificate of Excellency, and comes with a good report from others who have been there. All of that being said there is a little anxiety of the 2-3 weeks right after surgery. The thought of the whole pureed food thing is all a little weird to me still, but this to shall pass. I’m sure right before the surgery I might have a little bit of a “this is big” moment, and I’m sure right after I will probably have a “this is REALLY final” moment. I expect those moments. The thing is I am ready for it to be final. Like I’ve said before, I would rather only be able to eat small portions the rest of my life than die before I’m 40. O.k. enough surgery talk.

I didn’t get a chance to say anything yesterday (been really busy trying to wrap things up before the op.) but Sunday nights church service was AWSOME!!!! Even now just thinking about it gets me excited!!! There is nothing like when God moves, and when his people come together in unity seeking his face, it was so great… and in the middle of it all I looked down beside me and my son was standing there with his hands raised and tears streaming down his face… It is truly a moment that takes your breath… My wife and I are very careful to talk to Corbyn about serving God but not try to coax him into things, because I feel like it is better to feel the pull from God than the push from his parents. So to see him Sunday…. Well words can’t describe it… I serve an Awesome God that candor all things and he deserves all honor. He’s the kind of God that can give you peace in the middle of a storm, He’s the kind of God that will see you through when you feel like you aren’t strong enough, and he’s the kind of God that was willing to die for his people… I adore him more than I could ever express.