Choices

I feel like my mind is all jumbled full of things right now… and trying to pull one of the ideas to put on paper is like trying to choose what to have for supper in a food court!!!! So I figure I’m just going to start righting and see what happens… so I apologize in advance if today’s post is “confusing”. During this time of year I am full of appreciation that God was willing to give his life for me… I know most people think of it at Easter… but this is the celebration of his birth… to think our god come down to earth, to grow up and be loved by his parents to go through a normal life… and to think of his family… a Jewish family… they would have known what the future held for this child… Isaiah had written about it… Only a parent knows the joy that runs through you the first time you hold your baby… knowing that God has given you this gift… how bittersweet it must have been for her to look down and know that God had entrusted her with a gift for the whole world… and to know that the little baby she held in her arms, she nursed, she cared for… would one day be the lamb of God… I can’t imagine… and what do we do with that gift? Does God think that the price he paid is truly understood by those he paid if for? Wednesday night when we got home I was exhausted… and had already told my pastor that I didn’t know if I would be there because I didn’t know when I would get home… so he wasn’t expecting me. Anyway I took a nap and when it came time to get up and get ready for church the thought passed my mind… “They aren’t expecting you, just stay home and get rest, you’re drained, God will understand”. And then my perspective changed… I pictured my god beaten beyond recognition… and still having to walk up Calvary… he kept going… he loved me enough to push through the agony and continue his journey. I went to church that night… but I went ashamed that I had ever even considered not going an option. Some might read this and think “nothing would have happened if you would have just stayed home and got rest”… I’ll be praying for you… because my biggest fear is what might not happen if I don’t give serving God my all. A saint of God used to say that we have a Heaven to gain and a Hell to shun, I think that happens one decision at a time.