The Consultation

As Promised here goes….
Day 1:
I went in for a informational session… found out that this Group has a certificate of excellence, and have never lost a patient on the table… the surgeon also teaches the procedure in America and across sea’s… so ultimately I am going to the best (which is what I want if I am going to be putting my life in his hands… I also found out that there are three different surgeries… but they will evaluate me and figure out which one is best for me…. Post op what I would expect is a stomach about the size of an egg, to eat 4-6 small meals a day, and a commitment to stay away from certain foods and pop the rest of my life while taking vitamins to balance out the malabsorbtion (my body isn’t going to get all the nutrients from the food)… all of this is if the Group see’s me as a qualifying candidate and if my insurance will cover it… which they should but they might have things they want me to do first.
Day 2:
I had to feel out this huge physiological evaluation to make sure I didn’t have underlying issues (will come to that later) and feel out “quiz” sheet to see if I was paying attention the day before and read my stuff. I then went into a room where I was first met by a Medical examiner and he asked me “Physical” questions about family heart disease and stuff, and if I felt pain you know sort of like a physical. When he left a dietitian came in. and she went over my knowledge of protein foods and carb foods… went over the quiz with me (I got them all right woohoo) we talked about my past of yoyo dieting where I’m at… o.k. here as a side note I would like to add… they kept saying “when did you start having a weight problem” to which I said “I don’t know I was always chubby after like fourth grade but then when I was fifteen I lost a hundred pounds and stayed close to there for two years but I would say I have faught it since fourth grade” just in case you were wondering. Then when she left the psychologist came in. and she talked to me about the underlying issues like do I have thought of suicide and was there events in my past that I blame my weight on… It was kind of cool and I told her so (I’ve always wanted to talk to a shrink)… after she talked to me she said the only two things she really recommended that I address on her part is maybe joining a support group which has people that have had the surgery as well as people that are about to have it (a group of people with a shared interest) and that I read a book called “thoughtful eating” because apparently I’m not a binge eater I am a thoughtless eater… which means… basically I’m a heavy grazer… I don’t think about what I’m eating it’s just there so I grab some.
And there you have it, sorry if I bored you...

The Meetings

O.K. So I said that I wanted to get on the Blog so it didn’t go to the weigh side… and then I didn’t blog for a Couple days… Let me explain. I have been torn about how many people I wanted to know about this for a while, but since steps are definitely being taken in that direction I figure now is a good point to start opening up about it a little more. So here it goes… Monday we traveled and then Tuesday and Wednesday I was at the University of Chicago Medical Center for a weight loss surgery consultation. This is not something I go into lightly Something has to be done and I can’t/don’t do it on my own… here are issues that my weight is causing with me… I take Medicine for Hypertension (high blood pressure), Cholesteral, And type 2 Diabetes… it is getting harder and harder for my doctor to control my diabetes with medicine… and the combination of the higher sugar levels and the high cholesterol means (as my doctor puts it) If I were to have a stroke or heart attack it would be sad but not suprising. I told you all that to let you know this isn’t something that is being done for vanity… it is for necessity… I want to one day hold my grandson/granddaughter and if things continue the way they are I don’t even know if I’ll see my son in high school… I don’t want that. And I know from previous experience that yoyo dieting might be a patch for me… but I need a tool that is more permanent… My Body is something that I need to take care of for myself, for my family, and for God. I am not doing anyone right by being this large… I will try to post more about what “went on” the last couple days tomorrow… but for today I need to get some stuff done, so I have to go.

When Time is no more

This is my thought for today... I'm not much of a writer, buts it's what I felt

When Time is No More

When time is no more, and I face my fate;
Will I make it through, that pearly white gate?
Will I hear these words, in that sweet moment;
“Enter thou in, good and faithful servant”
And then with a garment, whiter than snow;
Will I see a place, this world can not know.

Or will there be fear, when these words are brought;
“Depart from me sinner, I know thee not”?
Will I regret, the chances not taken?
Time is no more, Eternity wakens.
This scene is so far, from heavens glory;
Fire and brimstone; not just a story.

Please help me take heed, to salvations plan
Provide me the strength, of a righteous man
Let me remember, the ways of my god;
As through this dark world, each day I do trod.
Help me know your ways, when I am enticed
So one day I’ll rest, with you Jesus Christ.

Coming Home

When I went to my Great Uncles funeral they taught about the Prodigal Son and I have been thinking about it ever since. If you don’t know who that is you can read about him in your bible (Luke 15:11-32). The gist of the story is I young man asks his father for his inheritance and then goes and blows it all… only to realize that once he had wasted everything his father had given to him he had nothing… and ended up eating with the swine (pigs) which to the Jewish people was a dirty animal… so its safe to say that he was in the lowest place he could be in…. but one day he realized that his fathers servants lived a better life than he was living so he decided to go back home… and ask his father to let him be as a servant… he came back to his father who ran to him… and accepted him back not as a servant but as a son… and his father says something later on when the young man’s brother is upset that his dad is throwing this big celebration for the son that wasted his inheritance. He says “It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.
Sometimes I am so full of appreciation for God accepting me back into his arms that I feel like I need to share it… so bear with me… you see I left God thinking I had made mistakes that God would never see past, that I was so soiled that I deserved nothing better than to eat with the swine… and truth be told that was true.. But that isn’t how God saw it, just like that Prodigal son when I hit the point where I knew that the only way for me to have any peace within myself was to come back, to accept whatever my father would give me. And to know that what he had to offer was better than what I could do for myself, for me to desire the life he had for me… that’s when I came back… I always liked that story, because it gave me hope that “when I was ready” he would be there… now I love that story because it tells me something else… you see that son left the ways of his father… He went out into the world and without having a direct link to his father ended up with nothing… when he came to his senses he came back to his father… he came back to his fathers house… he came back to the life that his father had for him… he didn’t stay out there… just like me when I came back… I had to pick up the life my father had for me… I had to leave all those other things behind, all those things I had picked up when I was living a life in the world…. I had to see for myself that what God could give me was more important than what I could ever do for myself…. There is a scripture (James 4:8) that says “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.” If we want to get closer to God we have to draw closer to him. Think about it… he hasn’t changed… the only way to get closer to something that doesn’t move is for you to start moving closer.
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.

Cherish the moment

I’m sitting here thinking about what I should write about today (because I’m afraid if I pause it will get lost in the shuffle) so anyway, I’m looking back over the Days events… and I think about the Election… we’re going to have a new president (interesting)… I think about Gas Prices… I saw them for 2.09 this morning (awesome)… but for some reason the thing pressing my mind is something that seems frivolous compared to all that… you see this weekend I am going to have some of my cousins over… and that’s what’s exciting to me… it might seem crazy but they remind me of good times. I wouldn't trade anything for my life now, I feel like I am finally where I should be with God or at least on my way there (no one is perfect) I love my wife and Son… all in all I am happy… but when I’m with my cousins it makes me think of a different time… in a lot of ways it makes me think of my grandparents house… we used to go over there for the holidays and we would all sit in the “middle room” close to the coal stove and talk… because all the men were in the living room and all the women were in the kitchen… then later we made it to the kitchen table… sitting around picking at the turkey and dressing, eating grandma’s cheese spread (that I still can’t get just right) and visiting… laughing… just enjoying each other… Grandma and Grandpa always had stories to tell about when they were younger, or when our parents were younger… I loved listening to those stories… Grandpa was hilarious, he would tell stories and then start cracking up at it… I loved him so much; I miss him more than I could ever say. But anyway when I’m with my cousins, even though we are all different people than we used to be, we still end up sitting around the table talking, and inevitably we start talking about something from when we were young and crazy… I hope that our kids can have a little piece of that… knowing that there is a bond that family has a connection that ties you together. So anyway I guess if I had a thought that I wanted anyone reading this to walk away with it would be this… if you haven’t talked to your Grandparents, Parents, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins… recently, please don’t let it go to long… because one day they won’t be there, and you don’t want to be left wishing that you would have spent just a little more time with them.

Out of Control!!!!

So I am going to have a slight rant right now… Yesterday on my way home I got behind this SUV/crossover (not sure which) that on the back window had this HUGE sign of that kid that is always peeing on stuff accept this time he was flipping me off and around him it said “get off my rear” (of course it didn’t use the word rear)…. O.k. here is my problem how is it that If I were to have a bumper sticker that said something like “get right or get left”… that would be horrible because I might make somebody feel a little bit of conviction for the way they live… but society thinks its o.k. for this sophomoric person to put that on the back of their vehicle for the whole world to see!!!!! Should I have taken there license plate down, so when my son goes to school and flips the Teacher off (because the cool cartoon character on the vehicle in front of us did it), I can tell them to not get my son in trouble but to give that driver a detention… of course not, because I am bringing up my son to not go according to other people’s actions… but to live according to what is right. It just seems ridiculous to me that we live in a culture where people trying to serve God are supposed to just accept the ways of the world or be viewed as haters, judgmental or worse… yet we are constantly being told that what we are doing is wrong, or we are extremist, or legalistic!!!! The radio station I listen to has a “morning nugget” every day and this is what yesterdays said “The more I let free will steer me away from purity, the more my life goes out of control” this country is getting out of control… ironically this country seems to try to push God out of everything they can… maybe if they would allow a little bit of purity in this country we would be able to have a little more Morality.

The Price of Gold

Tomorrow’s the Big Vote Day!!!!! I’ve never actually voted before, but this year I feel inspired! I won’t go into how I feel about this candidate or that one, because if I have heard lies about them I don’t want to one day have to answer for bearing false witness. Politics are not worth losing heaven. Its truly amazing what people are willing to give their salvation up for… if you think about it… the wealthy land owner asked Jesus Christ what he could do, but when God told him to sell all he had he walked away sad… but he still walked away!!!! I am not a wealthy person (by this worlds standards), so Money has never really become my idol… but that doesn’t mean that God hasn’t asked me to give something up… and I have had to choose between it and him… I always try to remind myself that at the end of the day… that “thing” that I hold so valuable that I am having to choose between it and the living God… is going to be gone. And I don’t want to pay an eternity of Hell for something just because I made it my God (because if you are placing it above God in your life it is your God) I only have room in my life for one God and that is Jesus Christ. And I pray daily that I always have the strength and desire to keep him above all in my life.